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Questions? Comments? Complaints?
For general FAQs and WTFs, our forum is here to answer questions such as "how do you draw comics?" and "have you considered getting help for Tyler?"
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Justin's role in the comic is to give us material, because his life is bloated with hilarious stories. Unfortunetly, I can't tell you any of them in fear that I wouldn't do them the justice they deserve because of the restrictions of the written word. I can say that the two constants in all his misadventures are a naive kindness and an overwhelming urge to mount anything with two X chromosomes... anything with two legs... a pulse... anything. Despite his incessant libido, Justin has got a woman in his life without payment. He's currently going out with Lauren, proving that stockholm syndrom isn't the only solution for us. TAKE THAT MOM! Justin's also a hedonist of games who indiscriminately plays every game on the shelves. He doesn't judge games on their genre or just because some Japanese deviant tainted it with his own fantasies. Not only does he play these games, he hordes them. Damnit! If that's not tolerance, I don't know what is. The only things that keep him from locking himself in his room for the rest of his life are Lauren and the fact that his computer is still reeling from porn labeled .exe. |
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Andre is our token black guy. My ancestors probably owned his and Andre can't seem to forget it as he ownz my ass at CS. It's because of this that I fully support seperate but equal servers. Also, he likes to shout weird shit over and over again that's funny at first, but then it gets really old, but then it gets funny again because nobody can believe he's still saying it. By the time we crawl out of our hole in the morning and struggle to avoid natural light like a dozen retarded baby sea turtles hatched in the day time and struck blind and picked off by countless predators, Andre's quotes are permanently engraved in our mind. They're so deep seated that perhaps one day on a psychiatrists couch we'll unearth them and realize they're the reason why I have to kill a parrot to get hard. Andres also completely fucking insane and makes outrageous claims like, "I'm batman" and accuses Wiley Coyote of sucking up all the medicaid. |
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Ramsey's innocence and benevolence make him a perfect symbol for the unsullied America we all know and love. He's all baseball and applepie. However, we haven't seen much of him because he has only recently returned from Guantanemo, where he was forlorn for 3 years because he's half-Iraqi and the nephew of the wife of the third cousin twice removed of a friend of an iceskater who shared this hobbie with the roommate of Osama bin Faden, whose name sounds suspiciously similar to the infamous terrorist's. When Jerry Falwell and a squad of navy seals came crashing from the ceiling, we instantly assumed they were just after Justin and his crazy attempts to revive the Old Ones, so we stayed seated; when they grabbed Ramsey, we all stood up in protest, but nobody did anything. My grandpa warned me about people with eyes like that.
Despite his captivity, Ramsey still kicks a good amount of ass at CS and maintains a huge interest in airsofting. Nothing scares me more than to hear him rant about submachine guns in public; I don't want to lose him again. Ramsey's expertise in games and his innocence promise to give the comic insightfulness and more stories to draw inspiration from. |
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Lets talk about Ryan for a second. I think it's only appropriate if we start by mentioning his most important feature and the thing that really distinguishes him as a unique and interesting human being--he's got really fucking hairy legs. Do you know the model of evolution that maps out man's progress from the ocean to land? Ryan and his legs are two from the right on that model. Imagine if Chewbacca ran a spear through Cousin It, and then fashioned an intricate robe out of Cousin It's carcass, then multiply that by atleast a hundred, and you have the hairy, bloody mess that we call Ryan's legs. They're so rough and corse that you can roll Ryan on his side and you can play real-life Katamari Damacy. The only problem is that the entire time he'll be criticizing you with subtle sarcasm and witty remarks. He's just the type of person who likes to stay out of a situation until he gets a moment to point out what a dumbass you are, like when he says, "Nice try picking up that dishwasher! Your Katamari is only 4 feet high." It really puts a damper on the game. Another fun fact about Ryan is that he doesn't express anger. The only thing that happens to him is that his eyes squint and he stares intensely at the offender. If Darth Vader didn't have his mask on in Star Wars when he strangled that guy with his mind, the audience would have been able to see the same squinty eyes that Ryan has. It's like Ryan tries to kill people with his mind, and he's pretty damn close to figuring it out. I've got money that says he'll be shooting lighting out of his fingers by 30. |
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Lauren: Justin's girlfriend. Plays rudimentary drums. Good at things (writing five-paragraph essays, talkin' Spanish, procrastinating, singing, taking the bigger half of the cookie). Also sometimes bad at things (using staplers, remembering names, 96% of social interactions, anything involving common sense, not being scared of the dark). Extra special bad at video games. Solid general knowledge of pop culture trivia, some of which isn't useless. Doesn't try to be cool; consequently fails. |
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There are few things in this world that have the glow and brilliance that Jo radiates every time she walks outside, right before she starts TO SET ON FIRE! Needless to say, putting Jo in the sun is like setting your neighbors cat on fire: it's fun at first, but then you come to the forboding conclusion that you'll never be able to get the smell out of the car. She's probably pale because she spends much of her time indoors playing Japanese platform games, and the perversity and evil that radiate from those games have robbed her of her pigment and left her a vile husk of a human being. Imagine she's Senator Palpatine and Japan is a big, bald, scary black man with a lightsaber. It's a bit of a stretch because Jo doesn't look like the Emperor. In fact, Jo is very cute and has a wit that's deadly in the hands of a skilled misanthrope. She's unafraid to slyly admonish people when they're being stupid and smart enough to fiddle while Justin burns (see Mimi's bio). Jo's not all evil though. There's some good in there, you just need to find the right tools- like a tire iron upside her face, that usually sets her straight. Jo's primary role in the making of this comic will be to kill me after this bio is posted so that Mimi stands a chance of having a writer who doesn't think setting a cat on fire is hilarious. |
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Sean is basically Justin with a goatee and horns. Like Justin, he's over the top and insane, but unlike Justin, Sean uses his insanity to make people feel as uncomfortable as possible. If his brother ever buys a child, Sean will be that weird, in the closet uncle who always gives his nephew crap for being gay. At school, Seans universally known as "that guy who stares at me in Spanish", which is a terrible segway to my next point- Sean's dad is Mexican. As you can see by the avatar to my left, the anglosaxon boy is clearly of European descent. He has red hair and freckles for god's sake. For centuries philosophers and men of learning have debated his origin Does he look more like the mold in the bathroom or the neighbors dog? The concensus is that he did not spawn from his mother's cloaca, but instead just engendered in a sewer. Despite his degraded roots, Sean is the most honest person I know, even if it entitles occasional ass kickings. Sean gets his ass kicked more than an alligator in an Australian zoo. Maybe its because he's sXe, so even the indies are going to be hucking rocks at him. His primary role for this comic will be writing comics about homosexual turtles. |
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Travis is a biped indigenous to the ice planet Hoth. He is covered with white fur, downturned horns, four nostrils, and has a foul body odour. He is omnivorous, subsisting off lichens as well as eating mushrooms and other fungi found in ice caves. The Rebel Alliance domesticated the swift creature during their stay on the ice planet, and used him for patrol duties outside Echo Base. He has been exported offworld to other cold-climate regions for use as a mount, beast of burden and a tourist attraction. Travis' thick layers of fat and fur provide him with adequate protection from the cold. I like to call him Porkchop McChubkins. |
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Natural Twenties is © Mimi Curiel and Tyler O'Neil. Some restrictions may apply, Void where prohibited, Low sodium, zero calories, we have you now! you will be our slaves. Give us peanuts, and your wallet. Fnord. |
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